‘Into Darkness’…

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Yep, I pretty much stole that title from the Star Trek movie.  Because its appropriate, Kirk and crew face their darkest mission, yet it’s about the beginning of exploring the great dark of space.

In my last post here, I wrote of how I interpreted a visual sight (not to mention all the cawing of those crows) as being a message from The Morrigan… I just didn’t know what it meant.

My good friend, Cristina, interpreted it as a message of ‘Transformation and regeneration… usually after a time of pain.  And War-Goddesses are also Goddesses of healing‘.

Today, I figured out the message!

On the OBOD Bardic course, I’ve been on Gwers #45 since April.  I tried out the Practicum in it when I was in Cyprus, but I more often than not kept falling asleep.  Today, I felt the urge to read it and do it again.  I answered the questions suggested with different answers to what I got the first time.  The exercise (no spoilers for my Bardic friends who will be reading this!) this time was a lot more productive.  I think the chunk of limestone on my diaphragm helped me NOT fall asleep this time.

My thoughts gave way to nothing…. and then the answer revealed itself like a statue being uncovered in the sea as the surf gives way to reveal a secret hidden in plain sight:

All of my life I’ve tried to force my hand to make things happen.  Tried to make my life into something to go my way.  In ways, it did and in ways it didn’t.  I mean it’s good to have a goal, but…. BUT… what about letting life give the opportunity?  What about letting life happen and when it presents you with an opportunity you then take it?  There’s a choice there: Stay on your present course and things will work out more or less as you expected.  Or take the opportunity and dare to let life take you somewhere new, somewhere unexpected.  Even if it doesn’t work out… you tried.

And so… this bit as I wrote it in my Bardic Journal, I KNEW was the answer to what the message was:

“In life we make our own way, we must take action.  But let life show you how, where and what.”

And as if to confirm my realisation as I wrote that down, there was a caw… then another… then a third! (I shit you not!) A young crow was on the roof as I was scribbling away out in the garden.  I laughed out to myself, to the crow, to the garden.  I got it!  To allow life to show you an opportunity, you need to take a moment of stillness, look into the dark (as in silence and withdrawal) and have faith.  It doesn’t matter if that faith is in yourself, faith in the Gods, or spirits or whatever… at least put your faith in Life.

I was happy with that and I accepted it… and in accepting, my regeneration and transformation begins.

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The Morrigan?

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I’m supposed to be asleep and yet I feel charged to write this blog…right now (“Do it! Do it now! NOW!!!” Whispers the Voice- HER voice).

Not even performing the Light Body Exercise helped calm my mind, sooth my soul or quieten my spirit.  All I can think of is today’s sign (as I wish to call it that).

I was just about to pour my beaten eggs into the frying pan, this lunch time, when there was a great cawing outside.  Me and Artemis (my housemate, not the Goddess… although…) made a joke about my cat having pissed the crows off.  I went outside to see what the commotion was and looked up at the house behind us…. perched upon the rooftop were three crows all yelling their heads off.  I said one word in acknowledgement, a name: ‘Morrigan’.  I said it quite flippantly.  Immediately the cawing stopped and two crows flew off, from where I was standing, one East, the other West.  One remained in the North.  As soon as Artemis commented in amazement that they stopped once I said the name of a Goddess, I knew it had to be a sign, or a message.  Didn’t get time to ponder as my food was frying!

By the time I came back out the third crow had gone… was I too late?

I’ve been pondering what this could mean… if anything at all.  To me this is a harbinger of some kind, of what I don’t yet know.

The first time I was aware of Raven as a harbinger was back in 1999 when I discovered I had absent mindedly doodled a raven whilst talking to a friend on the phone.  That was a BIG year for me: I had my sexual awakening and began University.

The second time was the card I drew on the first day of this year signifying destruction and initiation must take place before rebuilding can begin… that’ll be me and Pipes separating and both of us no longer living in our home of almost seven years.  Oh yeah! I’ve moved house by the way!

So, to hear three very loud crows and see two fly off (one to the direction of the intellect and new ideas, the other to the direction of the emotions and the subconscious; and the last remaining in the direction of matter, the senses and physicality means something else is coming.  What, I’m not sure.  But this time, I intend to be ready.

Looks like I’d better start asking the Morrigan, see what she’s trying to say.

Oh Lady Morrigan,
Lady of the swift sword of battle,
Lady of the burning heart of lust and desire,
Lady of the hidden secrets of magic.

Let me hear you, let me see you, let me kiss you.”