I did promise to write this for yesterday, but I brought in New Year’s Day with the last episode of The Black Adder (Always had a soft spot for the series that not many people like) and playing a good and proper dice rolling RPG with my brother (He is red-headed, which according to lore is bad luck for the rest of the year… racist y’see) and friend.
Last years blog, Quoth the Raven, Had me explaining about a few New Year’s customs and a spot of divination. So, what did last year’s prediction of my focus entail for 2014? Destruction in order to rebuild and passing through the darkest night before re-emerging to see the light of dawn once more. How very true indeed. Here’s what happened-
*Separation: Me and Pipes separated from our 10 year relationship and 6 year marriage. It was very sad indeed and with heavy hearts we went our own ways. I still occasionally see my Wife (ex-Wife) and we’ve remained friends. I even popped round to see her on New Year’s Eve to see how she was, I’ll be joining her this weekend to help celebrate her birthday.
*New Beginnings: I moved out of my previous home into the present one that I share with my house-mate, Artemis. I also picked up my performing again, acting in a play as well as developing my storytelling.
*Promotion: Of sorts. I had assisted the Herald of the Druid Grove and after she stepped down earlier on last year, I took on the role until I did so officially at Samhain.
*Endings: December saw my store close down for good (Its ok, I still have a job in the company, we all got moved to another store), it also saw me read my last Gwersu of the Bardic Grade… I have a lot to do before I move onto Ovate, however.
So, 2014 had seen me broken hearted, yet imbued with creativity. It saw me take on responsibility when my friend and fellow Grove member needed some serious time out. It saw me relocate to a warmer house full of geekery. It brought me some amazing times with my friends, without whom I would have been consumed by bitterness and despair; whether hanging out, in a ceremony, going to Glastonbury or giving me recommendations on certain events to ply my trade, or kicking the shit out of thousands of monsters. Its saw me say goodbye to the store that provided an income at the very last minute of my redundancy back in 2011, it saw me reach the end of my Bardic Course… making my Solstice Toast & Boast happen in days! But I have yet to complete it… And finally it saw me find strength within myself to survive the end of mine and Pipes’ relationship. I cried my tears and swore out my rage in a very short space of time, but it took me a long while to get used to the void that appeared. I know Pipes’ condition and how she has suffered, but I don’t think she’d appreciate me putting on here her ordeals. I decided to pick myself up and get busy. My heart is healing, but I now keep it heavily guarded without being heartless in my own self. Will I love again? never say never. I’ve decided I need to learn to love myself before I go looking to love another.
I consulted my DAO twice. Once just after Midnight in the morning of 1st Jan 2015 and again around 11am. The first time round was as a demonstration to Artemis and our mate, Jogger (she jogs). On both accounts I asked the question of “What do I need to focus on in 2015?”
The card in response was: Adder Reversed. It means that instead of allowing the venom within to cause harm to others, it suggests I use it to bring healing to other people as well as myself. It also means transformation.
For some reason, once I had awoken and tidied up the living room from our drinking session, I wanted to draw another card. Not instead of, mind you, but in addition. As if there was a feeling that there was more for the New Year to offer. And the second card was: Bee. The card of celebration, community and working with the seasons as well as the power of the Sun.
If I was to dare and put this together (a dangerous idea, but let’s try it anyway!) then I would say that after working with the darkness of last year, and for me, 2014 was about facing and working with my own darkness; this year brings healing and transformation, allowing me to emerge once again into the light of day. And with celebrating with others, provide a chance of healing others as well. However, there is the knowledge that these things tend to work out differently than expected. And rest assured, it’ll go straight on here when it does.