It’s 2020! Not just a new year but a new decade!
Breaking my usual tradition of drawing my annual Druid Animal Oracle Card for the New Year, I felt the pull to draw out the card for my focus in 2020 on the Midwinter Solstice instead.
For 2019, I had drawn the card of the Fire Dragon where it focused on the points of:
Definitely a big one this year as I have both transmuted and transformed in more than a few ways! I had come back to working in Nottingham after the opening of our new store there. As much as I enjoyed working in Derby, it was finally a relief to not get up at the crack of dawn for two bus journeys then be home for 8pm. This also enabled me to go off my own knowledge and gain full confidence in my working self, especially after helping develop a new team.
More importantly, I moved in with Devi and so we are living our lives together, cats and all. Living in a forever house is very different than living in rented home, and I’ve had some growing up to do. This has taught me a lot about priorities in the difference of what must be done and what is desired.
My acting has changed too, it’s not a priority in my life at the moment, although I have plans to take on storytelling again. I haven’t stopped acting because 2019 had it’s projects, its just I’m not actively hunting with it.
My divorce came through this year too. That chapter in my life is now officially closed.
As well as learning about prioritising, I had more get-up-and-go with my Ovate course. Still in the single digits of the Gwers, I have already learned much about myself and have become more settled in who I am. By exploring the forest, I have become more grounded; I’d say my Devi has had a hand in that too.
I don’t think I have mastered anything this past year, but I have taken my Druidry a lot more seriously in:
Creating the Robin Hood Moot here in Nottingham. Nothing to do with seeing Robin as a woodland deity, more named after his statue next to the castle which is where we hold our open public ceremonies.
And I even performed my first hand-fasting!
In short, I have become a lot more responsible and have even learned something about myself: I am the cause of my own anger a lot of the time.
As mentioned before in previous posts, I am an impatient being and am true to being a fire sign. There are many who know me as being kind and patient, there are a few who have even described me as wise. But I will fly off the handle at the slightest provocation of my patience being tested. The second a machine doesn’t perform as it should, my inner petulant child comes out yelling in full Anglo-Saxon (in other words, effing and blinding). And I get defensive when people ask why I’m doing something a certain, unnecessarily complicated way. This past week, I realised this comes from anger at my own self. That customer who said that passive-aggressive comment? I probably should have made it clear I was walking away to show them something. That computer program which doesn’t work as fast as I want it to? Did I press the wrong buttons again. My boss and my girlfriend asking why I’m doing something a certain way and I snap at them? It’s because I put myself under pressure to get it right the first time. Then there’s the imaginary arguments with people I have in my head…. why am I doing this to myself? Stop, chill and let go….
…..which is exactly what my hernia has taught me. Yep, I presently have a hernia. An Inguinal Hernia to be precise. It’s a weakening in the abdominal wall that causes my intestines to slip into my groin. On a good day, it’s manageable as long as I don’t walk fast (I used to power walk everywhere, taking pride in getting to places by foot quicker than the predicted time) and avoid lifting (I used to enjoy carrying heavy loads, probably how I got it in the first place). On a bad day, it’s like having a constant stomach ache and the strange sensation of my guts being both heavy and feeling “pulled” down. I have to sit until I feel right again.
It’s ok, I got word recently that my operation will be at the end of January.
And it’s taught me the value of stopping. Which is a big step for one who, such as I, is used to doing a million things all at once until I burn myself out. Remember my friend, Artemis? When we were housemates, she always said it would take being hospital ridden for me to stop. And she was right.
The hernia has taught me to slow down in my life, to know when to stop, to delegate and to ask for help. It has also taught me to find being useful in other ways just because I can’t get physically stuck in.
Really, I have learned to master my energies as well as transmute into something better.
2020: Boar (Reversed)
As soon as I flipped the card over after the sun had gone down on the Midwinter Solstice, I knew he was there. He made himself apparent when Devi and I spent a few days in Scotland and we tried out Kintyre gin from Beinn an Tuirc (Hill of the Wild Boar- the pic for the distillery is on my beanie!). I felt I’d see the Boar and there was apprehension at it being reversed.
The description of the card speaks of entering a breakdown, of allowing something deeper to enter my life after the storm has hit, I’m paraphrasing of course. It also speaks of the fool and that what might seem like madness actually denotes wisdom.
Whatever comes, I intend to meet it dead on with learning from the positive lessons of the card: Leadership, Warrior Spirit and Direction.
In Celtic Mythology, the Boar is a destructive force that must be faced and leaves destruction in its wake. For those who manage to stop it, kill it or even direct it (for if you can’t prevent an unstoppable force, I guess you either direct it or ride it out) they take it’s symbol denoting great strength.
At the Winter Solstice of 2020, I’ll let you know how it went.