Alban Elfed- “Light of the Water”

New Moon ♍️

Whitby Harbour, 23rd September 2022

I have to admit, September is my favourite month. I’m biased, of course. Devi and I got married two years ago and we’re still celebrating our second year anniversary by going around Whitby (yes again, but we love it here) and by the sea. Which is fitting because we got married on the beach in Argyll, Scotland with the Paps of Jura behind us, a truly magical day!

And it’s a truly magical month, not only are the fruits on trees and plants full of flavour, falling to earth or ready to be picked, but there are lengthening shadows, beautiful sunrise and sunset colours, changing colours in the leaves, morning and evening coolness and yet warmth in the sun. And the sky has different shades of blue….. the longer nights are coming!

This year, the autumnal equinox fell on the same day as our wedding anniversary and the photo taken that evening (above) summed up my feelings and thoughts of Alban Elfed, the modern Druid celebration of ‘The Light of the Water’.

We didn’t realise it until we got here, but the whole weekend has been the Whitby Fish and Chip festival. This has had various talks on sustainability, raising awareness of Climate Change and there’s even been a push for encouraging people to do one small thing to help in the fight against it. There have been workshops on how to dress a crab and prepare fish, there have even been performances of sea shanties, storytelling and even traditional clog dancing too. And of course various restaurants being visited for that British staple: fish and chips!

Thinking about it, it’s almost like Devi and I had come to an entirely different sort of harvest festival, not one of fruits and vegetables of the land, but the bounty of the sea.

And as if to emphasise the lesson I’ve been thinking of this autumn, it can be characterised by a boat at sea. And this lesson is “Let it go.”

I would love to say I am a completely zen-natured and calm individual always finding a a quiet solution to everything…… I’m not. I’m human, I overthink things, and I when I make mistakes I can brood and sulk about them for hours. I mentally punish myself over and over until something else takes my attention then I can move on. In short, I take things personally and get very defensive because I didn’t get it right the first time. That’s a lot of shit to put on myself and it is entirely self induced.

This has been a year about developing a sense of thinking in the present. The second a mistake is made, or I hadn’t thought of something that should have been common sense, or made a wrong choice, it’s done. So instead of ruminating on the said mistake and feeling despondent, I’ve been teaching myself to “let it go”. And those are the three words that I immediately fire up as soon as something goes wrong. Let. It. Go. Why am I taking this so personally? Behaving like a child isn’t going to fix the situation, so let it go. By no means am I using this to ignore a problem, more it’s of recognising an error and determine if it’s something I can I can put right there and then. If it isn’t, accept it, acknowledge it, learn from it and move on. Let it go.

The people of Whitby are proud of their maritime heritage, the fishermen of this town respect the sea because they know it can mean life and death in the waves.

I don’t think it’s any mistake that the sea is often used as a symbol for our emotions, there’s a reason ships only go out when the seas are calm. However, should a vessel find itself caught in a storm, the crew have to put their emotions aside in order to find the clarity needed in order to get out of it. Doesn’t mean the mixture of emotions aren’t there, they have to let it go in order to do what they must. And when I think of some of the things I stress myself about, they pale in comparison to what a crew have to do in order to make themselves safe and stay alive.

So yes, it’s that kind of detached clear thinking I must seek, so when I encounter a problem, I’m not being overwhelmed or distracted by the waves of my emotions. In ‘let it go’ I am in fact reminding myself to take the objective point of view in order to work the solution if it’s in my power to do so. And by letting it go, I am also being kinder to myself and others.

Autumnal Blessings and may the Light on the Water show you your bounty.

Locksley. /|\

Q: What do gods and deity mean to you?

New Moon ♋️

The Grove of the Corieltauvi has reformed after shutting down in 2019. Presently, it is in a state of regeneration with some of the original former members and even a few newer ones. If you’ve followed my blog for a while you might recognise some of the names….

The title of this blog post comes from a question that came to my mind regarding a shared article on deity from Tatterhood. And so, this post isn’t so much offering any kind of final conclusions, but a collection of thoughts from my friends within the Grove.

“What do the gods and deity mean to you?”

This is a subject I have written about previously and no doubt will again. The post linked was written back in 2014 and my writing style, as well as my beliefs, differ from now. Please note there is a link in that article which used to lead to the old Corieltauvi blog page; it won’t work as that blog no longer exists.

Here was my leading post in our forum:

When I first approached Paganism I was a full believer in the gods. This waned somewhat as I began to see them more as ancestors with legends ascribed to them.

When I first began Druidry, it was the Bardic Course that helped me to re-introduce the concept of deity into my practise and my perceptions. I went from believing all gods as being real to conscious energy forms.

In my (continuing) exploration into the Ovate Grade, the more I learn about the natural world as well as my relationship with it, I now see deity a ‘force’ that flows through life itself. Nwyfre, if you will. I think if it is something that can be communicated with, then subconscious dream is the language.

As for the gods themselves….. I find myself now thinking of them as something we aspire to either improve or be within ourselves. People may be attracted to the Morrigan, for example as they find her independence and prophesying side inspiring as that’s what they’d like within themselves.

For me, I like Brigid for how she personifies Awen or inspirational/creative thought.

Mannann Mac Lir is another; he represents patience, wisdom and an air of mystery that allows you to learn for yourself- all aspects I would wish to be strong within myself.

But would I just simply begin worshiping them? I guess the answer would be to try it out and see what comes….. the real question then is: if by worshiping deity are we enforcing and strengthening these aspects of ourselves that we seek connection with? I would say on the outside view, yes.

Those are my thoughts, how about you guys?

It worked! And other members of the Grove joined in and shared their perspectives too:

Ben: “During my meanderings with the gods I’ve felt the presence of many alongside me but have never asked myself what they are….. until this year.

I’ve been drawn to a more shamanic approach (shamanic being another loaded word)
On my spirit journeys I’ve met with many helpers some you could confuse with gods. Most are aspects of me I think. Some ancestors, others land energies.

Maybe over time one or two spirit guides became popular with many people asking them guidance. Maybe this fed them and gave them substance.
People also forgot that these were guides and helpers and began to make offerings to them, the odd temple here, train up a priest there maybe. Then it might have got political……
The chief saw the power growing in this helper guide and so made it officially the guide of the clan or tribe.
Alas a guide became a god.

And of course each tribe wanted to show that their god was better than the others……. War followed war….. mission followed mission and you soon got the one god problem……..
until folk got disillusioned and started taking interesting cups of tea and putting interesting things in their pipes once more……
And they find all the spirit guides waiting once more.

And what were they saying?

The divine is within you as we are within you, the animals, the trees, the rocks and yep even other people!

It’s a beautiful spiral journey of magical ness.”

Cthulhudruid: Many of the Pagan Gods characterise important aspects of the human experience. They signify their importance whilst confronting us with the need to acknowledge and work with them, even if they are uncomfortable characteristics that we would prefer to avoid or suppress.

Ellie: Yes. The Divine is always there for us however we perceive him/her to be. I believe always with us and in us should we so wish.

For now:

I think that in sharing our thoughts on the nature of deity that the truth is somewhere between Ben and Ellie’s comments. That the divine is not only around us in the sun, the moon, the wind, the sea, the trees, the multitude of life…. it’s within us, part of us and is always there for us to slow down and listen to.

Looking back on my previous post on this subject was a bit of an eye-opener in the way that looking at our past selves often is. My faith in the gods was absolute back then. Whereas now, my Druidry has become much less about trying to find the ‘original religion’ and seeking the gods and more about observing the sun and moon, experiencing the seasons and allowing for the Divine to approach in any way it chooses.

View from East Wittering, by Roly.

Real Times of Magic

New Moon ♈️ (ok, it’s the night after…. What? Some people consider this the new moon!

March has been and gone, and with it the Spring Equinox (Vernal Equinox does sound better, doesn’t it?) the time of change, of growth and new beginnings.

I have to admit, I actually like the equinoxes; by the time we reach the Vernal and Autumnal equinoxes real change has occurred as the effects of the appropriate season have kicked in.

The solstices might be the “sexier” of the solar celebrations and hog the limelight, what with the Green Man motif of the Oak King/Holly King being attached. But as dominant as they are (indeed the winter and summer solstices are recognised and celebrated the world over), their progress is subtle. The darker nights gradually become lighter, the longer days gradually become shorter.

By the times of either equinox, we’re in the full flow of the increasing or decreasing light or dark. In spring, everything is waking up in the plant realm and the bird song is as loud as it is varied. There is a general feel of rejuvenation and even though winter might still have a presence there are definite signs of summer approaching too. In autumn, there is a sense of magic in the air, a definite shift in the seasons as summer’s warmth begins to ebb and there’s a particular delight and satisfaction in picking the fruits. Whereas trees such as weeping willow, birch and alder and poplar begin the gaining of their green in spring, by autumn, leaves change into fiery gold, amber and blazing red.

Once upon a time, I considered not celebrating either equinox at all, but it was when observing the land around me and seeing these were actual times of change and transition that I gained a new appreciation for them. It also helped that we got married on the day after the autumn equinox, giving further meaning to this time.

What I also love about both seasons is the longer dawns and sunsets; bringing with them a real sense of magic in the earth as well as the sky.

If there was any time of the year where I would say magic could be truly felt, it would be in these solar times of dawn and dusk where the day begins, the day ends and if it’s something both the Celts and the Anglo-Saxons shared in common…. It was that the dusk of the evening heralded the new day.

Some might say this is a council estate with a sunset, I say it’s a new day looking over a skeletal tree and a newly bloomed magnolia, Beauty surrounds us if we know where to look.

Conversations about curses….

New Moon ♓️

Back in 2018, I wrote a post inspired by my cousin asking about what to do should her new flat turn out to be haunted.

The very same cousin asked me a question on a similar topic: How can you tell if someone is cursed and/or haunted?

My cousin went on to explain about her Nan who married into a Romany Gypsy family when she was 16. They’d apparently known each other since childhood and so, years later, it came as a shock when my cousin’s Nan moved away from Portsmouth to Southampton after her husband died at 39.

When she moved to Southampton, she didn’t know anyone and eventually remarried, and her previous husband’s father now disowned her. She never saw them again and no longer wishes to be buried near them in case she angers the family. The Grandmother in question lost her 4th partner very recently and has confessed to my cousin of having continuous bad luck, bad dreams, anxiety and depression- could these be a curse is the question implied.

I always tend to look at these things in the practical before approaching anything woo. So my reply to this was:

It seems to me that your Nan feels a lot of guilt and remorse for leaving the Family she married into; I can see why she did though: everyday would have been a painful reminder of her husband. And despite the Family letting her in with open arms (from what I gather, Romany Gypsies are extremely close-knit) she perhaps felt, after her husband’s death, she wasn’t actually part of the family anymore so went to start afresh….. but in doing so, insulted the father and so became outcast to the Family.

Alienated from the people who accepted her and considered her one of their own, your Nan feels she has betrayed them and so now projects a lot of that guilt onto the unfortunate things in her life.

Is she cursed? I seriously doubt it. Has she, in a way, cursed herself? I think this might be the case. Though “curse” would be too strong a word for it.

If anything, she’s caught herself in a mindset where she accepts the bad run in her life as possible penance for betraying the Family.

We tend to over think the bad things in our lives rather than the good, and in a mindset of self fuelled negativity….. all of these things add up. She probably doesn’t even realise this or knows she is doing it to herself.

My cousin seemed to agree to this and even pointed out that her Nan doesn’t help herself in bad situations but has had a lot of rotten luck in her life.

I asked if her Nan had any direct evidence or if the Family in question were the kind of people to put a curse upon her, this came up as negative in both regards.

It seems to me that curses only tend to work when the person who has been ‘cursed’ has surrendered their individual power. In other words, if they grew up in a culture that believed in the power of curses, then the curse will work.

The Grandmother in question may not have had a curse placed upon her, but if her luck really was bad after my cousin’s grandfather dying quite young, I can see how this would have enabled her to believe she herself was cursed.

There are plenty of times in our lives where we may think we are cursed. Working in home development retail, I’ve seen some projects struggle from the day they placed the order right through to the return of any excess (if not the whole order!) materials, when there’s that much gone wrong on a housing project you can’t help but feel that particular work was cursed.

Now, I’m not saying that curses aren’t real and that they don’t exist. Apparently they are a lot of work to actually do. What I am saying is: in this day and age where mental health is a serious problem for many suffering from anxiety, depression, stress and more…. who needs to use a curse?

If you really need some spiritual back up, White Heather offers protection, Mugwort is good at ridding negative energy and evil spirits and Woad can be used for banishing and spiritual shielding.

Perspective- a poem

New Moon ♏️

Autumn’s leaves hanging on by a thread; Each a memory or punitive thought.

Skeletal trees standing naked and stark; Thoughts of the deceased and cold regrets.

Gentle snow embracing all; The silence it brings stills the hurt.

Brightening sky of the birthing dawn; Shadows of doubt are burned away.

Crisp air brings with it sharpened clarity; Remembrances are mellowed.

Day star arises bringing powdered blue; A smile in the heart- what new hope awaits?

Taken on the last week of November, no idea whose house that it is!

***

I don’t know if there’s something about the weather in November that makes us think of the dead, but my thoughts went towards a friend of mine who had passed a few years back. There’s a lot of coulda, shoulda, woulda, but at the end, we must accept what was and what is; being grateful for the memories and times we shared with those we have lost.

Learning From Past Lives

New Moon ♋️

“…. A lesson which they (Druids) take particular pains to inculcate is that the soul does not perish, but after death passes from one body to another….“ – Gaius Julius Caesar.

Both the Celts and Druids were said to believe in the soul. Not only that, but they were also said to believe that when a person died in this world; the soul was reborn in the Otherworld in its next life, and so the cycle continues on and on, this world to the next, the next world to this one.

Perhaps Caesar, in his cynicism was right, that the reason the Celts were so renowned for their bravery was down to their belief of the immortality of the soul.

And here we have something that has separated opinion for centuries: does the soul exist? Beyond that, is it transmigratory?

Recently I have been considering my own soul’s journey. Contemplating whether my own soul has had lifetimes before and if so…. Why can’t I remember? Why don’t any of us remember?

In my twenties, I underwent a guided meditation into a “past life”. Images flooded my mind of being a red headed woman in the 18th Century who was married to a handsome aristocratic man. Whilst he was away, I would dress up in his clothes, take one of his swords and start duels in the local town.

What are the chances of that being less of a past life and more my imagination fulfilling a desire? How is it when people do share past lives, they tend to have been rich and famous? Saying that, there are those who have supposedly lived very ordinary lives….

I didn’t trust it then and I don’t now. I think there are so few genuine cases of past lives because there are very few who actually remember them.

I even attempted a visualisation meditation this year to try and make contact with my own spirit to see if I could learn of my past lives. Instead, I ended up talking with my paternal Grandmother. Spirit? part of my psyche? Either way, we discussed the soul and how:

“Each flesh has its own life, each life has its own lesson.”

How this lesson helps our soul to grow and also how each life goes back to what she called The Source.

So why did I trust this and not the visualisation from almost 20 years ago? Because the first outcome was expected. That I’d go and retrieve a memory, it would be exciting and glorious…. and all my expectations were met. The second was unexpected and even left me feeling a little unnerved. Yes, I had set out to communicate with my own soul-essence but wasn’t sure if it would work. I wasn’t even sure what I would encounter (if anything at all!) But to be met by my deceased Grandmother and discuss such things as memories for that lifetime are for that lifetime in particular…. It was a hell of a surprise. As for what The Source was, we didn’t go into that. It just was.

It took me months to process this as well as my Grove-Sister’s Tatterhood blog post to unlock it.

Thanks to her piece on learning to love being ourselves, this took my mind in the direction of how many times I had already changed in this lifetime already. And so, in examining the “Past Lives” of this life, I was able to break down each of these incarnations of myself. I also learned that a lot of them were actually about me not loving who I was being at the time….. as well as how that drove me in those times.

Applying what my Grand-Mother said, I broke them down and learned the lesson from each of these former selves:

The Believer (09-19 yrs): Always ready to believe- but question everything.

The Witchy Poet (19-22 yrs): Seek and embrace inspiration, but don’t pretend to be someone you aren’t.

The Actor (22-27 yrs): There is always something to learn, don’t allow inexperience to feed paranoia and arrogance.

The Lost (27-33 yrs): Mature decisions require mature actions.

The Wounded (33-40 yrs): Dare to try and take solace in being alone. Don’t do everything all at once.

The Adult (40-?): Everyone has to grow up sometime…. Do it with style! At least- that’s what I’ve learned so far.

In line with what I have written before, we are all the same person at the core, but we change as we get older and our experiences influence this. And so old modes of thinking and old personalities, like The Doctor from Doctor Who? Burn away as they regenerate into someone else. The same person fundamentally, yet different in outlook.

I still don’t know where I stand on spiritual past lives, I think if we do travel from lifetime to lifetime, then I agree with my Grandmother (spirit? Psyche? Genetic memory?): We aren’t supposed to remember. Why this is so, I can’t say. But it appears a few anomalies do exist.

What I can say is that although there are those who seek and those who want to believe in their past lives, what about the past lives in this life time? The ones we can remember and learn from? What changes have you gone through and what did your former self teach you?

Picture by @aaroonio

Reflections From Frost

New Moon ♈>♉

Dead Nettle in Frost by Locksley2010

Last week, in building up to this month’s new moon, the British weather had shown every example of its arsenal. Almost one for each day!

Beginning with spring’s warm sunshine giving way to chillingly cold winds, crispy frost, to swift flurries of snow, pockets of rain and gusts of wind. Blue sky being obscured by thick iron clouds…. to give way to blue skies again. And remember…. Blue skies don’t necessarily mean they are warm days.

The weather, here in the UK, is often a talking point because it changes so regularly. So we often talk about it, apparently we’re renowned for it!

It was walking in the frost that inspired this post: frost and ice can preserve on what it takes hold. In some cases it keeps things in stasis, in its extreme (like all things) it can kill.

In the case of looking at the dead nettle (its not actually dead, this is the flowering variety that doesn’t sting) being covered in frost one day and for it to be free the next, this brought to mind the nature of change.

Oh, for sure, the lengthening days, growing green and variety in birdsong are all indicators of the change of season, but even beyond the vernal equinox: winter hasn’t fully loosened it’s grip.

Humanity spends much of its time in keeping things as they are. Where stasis has become our way of telling ourselves that we control the world. But time, experience and the world teach us this isn’t so.

Night gives way to day, winter gives way to summer, youth gives way to maturity…. many die and many are born. What was old gives way to the new, relationships and friendships form, others break. A forest becomes a wasteland, which then becomes a park that becomes a nature reserve. The young can take something old and look on it anew.

As we grow, we too change in the course of our lifetimes: who we were as children isn’t who we are now. We may be the same person in our core, as much as a tree is always a tree, or a dead nettle is always a dead nettle.

But as time goes on, the experiences we go through, our victories, our losses, our lives change us as time goes on.

The Changing Voice of My Blog

New Moon ♓

This post was inspired by another from my friend and Grove-sister, Tatterhood.

When I first started this blog back in 2013, I didn’t know who I was or what I wanted. I didn’t really know what I wanted this blog to be. It was originally set out to be a blog exploring my spiritual practise of Modern Druidry.

In fact, it’s full title was “A Wise Fool- A Blog of Druidry and Weirdry.” And was originally set out to document any bizarre happenings (dreams, ghostly encounters and the like) as well as what I learned and discovered in my exploration into Druidry.

For those who are new to my blog (Hello and welcome, btw!) Druidry is a nature based spiritual practise seeking the Divine within the world, and our relationship with it. In the Order of Bards, Ovates and Druids (OBOD) I have passed the Bardic Grade (Seeking the spiritual self through self exploration and creativity) and am currently studying the Ovate Grade (spiritual connection in the natural world and examining my relationship with it).

For those who’ve followed my blog for any length of time (Hi and THANK YOU! xx) they will have seen this blog cover many subjects and change as the years went on.

My blog over the years has had different voices: snarky, humorous, ranting, posts about myths, the Modern Pagan celebrations and even about gender and my holidays (vacations) and acting endeavours. Looking back on it, it’s been one hell of a journey.

As I have grown, so has my blog, there are posts I think I could have written better and there are posts I think were more of explorations into that particular subject rather than a full study.

Right now, and as of last year, my blog has been mainly about finding inspirations in the natural world. I don’t go heavy with the Druidry theme as my practise is personal and I’m not in the habit of preaching. But Druidry is fundamentally my blog’s flavour: for what does the Druid seek? They seek Awen, connection with the Spirit or Divine Inspiration. And inspiration in the world around me is what I have felt the drive to share.

Realistically, my blog should be called A Wise Fool: A Blog about Druidry and Inspiration.

My writing voice has changed: No longer someone who’s trying to find who they are, or someone writing like they have something to prove. No longer someone trying to sound academic or ranty: What was the finding of my subject? what was the lesson learned of that encounter? My writing voice is more reflective than experiential now.

As I commented on Tatterhood’s post about her own blog:

Blogs and writing voices change in time.  What we started with isn’t necessarily where we are now; that’s the beauty of the journey.

Has your blog changed in time? Has your writing voice changed?

What Does the Fox Say?

New Moon ♑>♒

Yesterday, just before lunch-time, I was on my way up to the local golf course for a stroll.  I hadn’t even got past the council houses when I saw something scuttling further ahead.

At first, I thought it was a tortoise-shell cat, but when I looked again, it was a bit bigger and the tail was definitely bushier.  It was, of course, a fox!  Must have been a juvenile one too as it’s fur still had blue-grey patches.

But there he was (or she, could’ve been a she), head and tail down as if trying everything to keep a low profile despite the bright sun of the approaching afternoon.  The fox made its way into the hedge of one of the houses on the road and then I saw him/her no more.

And so, I took the rest of my walk in contemplation.

I’m not one for thinking that every encounter with an animal needs some shamanic interpretation.

But I am one for thinking that every encounter with wildlife is a gift.

There is indeed a fox den, if not a few more around this part of Nottingham.  Devi and I have witnessed them in our back garden, seen the cubs play, heard them cry and yip.  Devi’s even witnessed them playing with Ron (one of the Apex Predators) and Bailey (she was our lioness trapped in the body of of a blonde domestic house cat) when she was with us, rest her soul.  We’ve also found the holes they’ve dug in the garden- cubs practicing for their cache skills no doubt!

In the Druid Animal Oracle, Fox has the associated words of Cunning, Diplomacy and Wildness.  Fox is about knowing the difference between staying hidden and when come out into the open.  When to use your knowledge to solve something, not to deceive or be sly.

Fox, in England, has a bad reputation: for being cunning, killing for sport and a trickster.  Compare this to the Fox-spirits of China and Japan, where the Fox is not only a shape-shifter, but has magical powers.  Some can be mischievous, others can be friendly.  Like Humans, really.  In Native American cultures, Fox can be a trickster and even the thief that gave the gift of fire to Human-kind.  There was even a Gallic chief whose name translated as “Son of Fox” and because he was an exceptional negotiator, so did the fox become associated with diplomacy. 

The associations of Fox being cunning comes from the Fox’s ability to adapt it’s hunting and living habits to it’s environment.  You can find foxes in both urban or rural areas, the desert and even in the arctic circle- they are like us: adapting to our surroundings. The fox will hunt it’s area for food and shelter.  If the food is in a man-made container such as a bin (trash can), plastic bags or even a coop, then it will figure a way of getting to it.  And if successful, they store it in a hole for another day.

They have a great sense of play and this is most likely where the ‘mischievous’ nature comes from.

Fox has made itself known to me for a while, but it’s only recently I have understood it’s message:

“Stop trying to force your routine onto where you live.  Look around you and see how you live: shape your life around that instead.”

Fox may be about cunning, wildness and diplomacy, but it is also adaptation, resourcefulness and play.

In these tumultuous times of ours, perhaps there is much to be learned from what the fox says: adapt and survive.

Photo by Dušan Veverkolog, upsplash.com

Last Day of August- A Poem

New Moon in ♍>♎

Vibrant green leaves sink as they droop. The zestful and fresh now looks worn and tired.

The morning sun apparently pale, blinds whilst low in the early view. Droplets of dew still linger.

I shiver in the shadow, yet roast in the light, children watch a bee groggily making it’s way on foot.

Clouds gather, but no rain comes down, the sky as blue as forget-me-nots.

There’s a shift in the season, a chill in the air. Lazy days enriched with anticipation.

The sun sets a blazing copper, damp in the air despite the clear sky. The first leaves are already being burned.

The moon rises a burning orange, then a thick yellow until she ascends into her silver brilliance.

Not quite full, yet pregnant with promise, like the season to come, we wait.

Ok, the photo was taken in September, but the sky was similar.

Here in the UK, we get what are called Bank Holidays which are our version of public holidays. There’s always one at the end of August and I wanted to catch that feeling of the last half of summer.

Locksley. /|\